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On Peanut Flour and Recovery

October 4, 2010

Hi I’m Back!! 

The Florida trip was amazing. It was great to see Alex, go to the beach, watch Notre Dame win, and eat tons of gelato! I took some pictures and will do a recap hopefully tonight or tomorrow, but for now I’ll just leave you with this picture from a romantic beach date: 

🙂

 

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So before I left last week, I read an great post on Powdered Peanut Butter by Emily. With the craze over the new Trader Joe’s Peanut Flour and tons of new recipes floating around, I’d been curious about the product. Emily’s post was informative and inspiring, but got me thinking about whether or not Peanut Flour was a good choice for ME. 

  

See, Peanut Butter was always a “fear food” for me during my eating disorder. All fats were. I knew that it was high in calories and so even though the fat was healthy fat, I wouldn’t touch the stuff. It was a HUGE step when I finally started incorporating nut butters back into my diet (thank you blog world for showing me it’s OKAY!). Now I eat almond butter almost every day – albiet about one tbsp or spoonful or half packet of Justin’s 🙂 

My first reaction to reading about PB2 was “Awesome! More PB and less calories!!” –but I quickly moved away from that perspective. First of all, PB2 isn’t readily available to me and I wasn’t big on mail ordering a product that I’d never even gotten to try. Could it possibly taste as good as the real nut butters that I’d grown to love anyway? Secondly, I had made so much progress by eating full fat nut butters daily that it seemed like a step backwards to use a product purposely for fewer calories and fat grams. 

Emily‘s post explained her reasons for using powdered peanut butters — despite the fact that she isn’t trying to lose weight, using the powdered version means she gets MORE of the good stuff! I mean we all know that the best bites are the ones with a big glob of nut butter on them 🙂  

But is that same reasoning okay for me? What does it mean for my recovery if I stop eating real nut butters? Will it trigger an urge to start restricting in other areas again? 

I’d love your thoughts on the topic. 

Do any of you find yourself in this same position? Is the Trader Joe’s Peanut Flour too amazing to pass up? 

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Emily permalink
    October 4, 2010 3:38 pm

    Hey girl! I just wanted to let you know that I completely know where you are coming from. I read Emily’s same post and my immediate thought was “Hmm, I wonder where I can get this stuff. Less fat = jaaaaack pot!” But, again, mail order? No thank ya. I am still in the process of recovery and more or less dealing with mind games now. I was also okay with PB until I actually started gaining the weight back…that’s when it started to petrify me. Like you, the blog world has shown me how absoutely ok it is to eat PB not only in general, but once a day! I immediately pushed back the thoughts of getting a product like PB2. I think for me, it would definitely get me back in the “low/non fat” mind frame and I don’t want to face the struggle of digging myself out of that whole again. So, I guess I didn’t give you any helpful info, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this place of PB craziness!

    • October 4, 2010 3:44 pm

      Hey Emily –

      Thanks! It’s nice to know other people are in the same spot. Let me know if you ever decide to try it!!

      Clare

  2. October 8, 2010 11:33 am

    I totally understand what you mean. I had an eating disorder in college, and can really relate to some of the stuff you’re talking about. I bought the peanut flour, but I use it as a protein supplement rather than a peanut butter substitute. This way I know that I’m doing using it really for my health and not in order to reduce the calories that I’m eating by subbing it for peanut butter. I really admire your honesty: I think a lot of bloggers are EDNOS and I think it really does a lot for the healthy blogging community to have people like you who are honest with themselves and others…Holds everyone accountable I think! Keep up the good work and keep challenging yourself in your proccess of recovery! 🙂

    Also, curious–When is your 1/2 marathon? My husband and I are running on in early November (San Fran!) and our milage looks similar to yours. [And I do the Jillian Michal’s DVDs on my x-training days! ;P I do her No More Trouble Zones on my lifting day]

    Wow I’m long winded, but when you say you ran in Forest Park, are you talking Portland? Danny and I used to love running there!

    • October 8, 2010 11:38 am

      Jessica,
      Thanks for the awesome comment, and the compliments! I like your idea of just using it as an enhancement or in baking instead of as a PB substitute.

      And I actually live in St. Louis so my half marathon is here. It’s in Clayton, specifically, on the 7th. YIKES! I’ve got a 9 miler this weekend. The Forest Park I was talking about was also in St. Louis…wish it was on the West Coast though! I’ve never been!

      Clare

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